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( Merlin please. )

Not as much as I care about my bloody pickles, no.

have you ever made pickles before? we should try it.

... Not the worst idea you've ever had. How?

we'll need cucumbers. i know where there's a garden.

Or a shop.

you don't want store cucumbers. they wax them.

I don't even know what that means.

they wax them. to make them shiny. or maybe it's lube, i don't know, gardens are just better.

Why can't we just have shiny pickles?

and i suddenly remember that you're a pervert.

How was that perverted! I just don't care what kind of cucumbers we use, idiot.

good, because i know this garden.

And you're sure it wouldn't be easier to go to Waitrose.

anything with the word 'wait' in it promises to be difficult.

You just make this up as you go along, don't you.