inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[busy]

[ attachment: 1 ]

i think it's about time for that angry birds intervention.

[scornfully]

Are you sure? I think you'd look quite fetching in those.

[busy]

come around and see for yourself. i could set stuff up around me for you to break through.

[scornfully]

I thought the birds did the breaking. If you set things up, shouldn't you be trying to break through them with your crotch?

[busy]

i got the pig shorts too. you know how i like switching it up.

[scornfully]

There's something very, very wrong with you. What kind of midwife wears angry birds / pig boxers?

[busy]

the kind that thinks about eating you out before getting fucked in the shower.

[scornfully]

I still can't believe you call it that, by the way. But I suppose I'd expect nothing less from a man in cartoon underpants.

[busy]

oh my god, nevermind. i'll just go look for some batteries.

[scornfully]

Hang on - what've I done wrong this time?

[busy]

[Merlin reminds himself that he needs to be more patient. This is all still relatively new to Arthur.]

babe, you haven't done anything wrong. it's just hard to tell if you're interested when you're focusing on my pants instead of what's in them.

[scornfully]

Of course I'm interested, I just thought you were teasing. I didn't mean to upset you.

[busy]

i'm not upset, i promise. let's start over. should i try on another pair of pants?

[scornfully]

Yes. Don't you have anything in silk? I imagine they're more fun to tear off.

[busy]

[ attachment: 1 ]

do i look like one of those hot greek statues that you drool over?

[scornfully]

Better - Michelangelo himself couldn't do you justice. That and I've never wanted to have a statue do what you suggested before.

[busy]

and you won't care what i call it once i start doing it.

[scornfully]

Or afterwards in the shower.

[busy]

i'm not so sure i'll be able to stop before morning. don't know if you've noticed, but your arse is fucking magical. seriously, forget angry birds. there's my addiction.

[scornfully]

I bet you'd have it for lunch every day if you could. And when we do it overnight can I at least rest a little between rounds? You can even play with it while I'm dozing and I won't complain.

[busy]

...seriously? are you teasing me now?

[scornfully]

No teasing. If you want to. It's nice for me too, you know.

[busy]

christ almighty, i don't even know how my dick got in my hand.

[scornfully]

So you like that, then? The thought of fondling my arse while I'm half asleep?

[busy]

yeah. i think about it a lot. just touching at first, seeing if i can make you shiver. then lubing a finger up and fucking you with it, nice and slow.