inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[busy]

what the hell is a brioche and how do you even say that.

[scornfully]

Bree-osh - it's French, idiot. Sweet and soft and delicious ... it's actually more like a pastry, but. It still counts.

[busy]

don't touch me.

[scornfully]

What ...

[busy]

learning about this just has me a little upset right now.

[scornfully]

... Would you rather I didn't bring you any?

[busy]

i just wish you could bring me some today. i just tossed a loaf of light bread across the room.

[scornfully]

In which case I'll try not to eat it all on the plane.

[busy]

i think you should swallow some in a condom.

[scornfully]

Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

[busy]

well don't eat it all! it's your fault that i feel this longing in my loins now.

[scornfully]

In light of all this I feel I should ask: are you more attracted to pastry than you are to me?

[busy]

no. you're my sugar daddy.

[scornfully]

We have to break up.

[busy]

not happening.

Dammit Mi I snorted my tea.

[scornfully]

Thankfully the decision isn't entirely yours.

scariest boyfriend ever tbh

[busy]

i will woo you back with a mixtape.

[Just 'Dark Horse' and 'Wrecking Ball' over and over again.]

Good thing Arthur kind of likes it ...

[scornfully]

A dick pic would probably do it. Or a face pic. Or a legs pic. Actually just any part of you in picture form.

[busy]

[Attachment: 1]

will that do?

[scornfully]

All those feelings you had about the brioche? I'm having them about you. I think I hate you.

[busy]

we'll have a threesome when you get back. you, me, and the brioche.

[scornfully]

What if the brioche gets jealous?

[busy]

then i'll eat it and it'll just be the two of us.

[scornfully]

How about I feed bits of it to you while I hold you in my lap?

[busy]

aren't you afraid that i might nip your finger?