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❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

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arthur. you'd tell me if you were pregnant, right.

I always have pickles in my BLT. It's the only way.

you can't add anything to a blt except mustard. there are laws in this country.

Would you let me have it if I was pregnant?

of course. the mother of my child gets whatever he wants.

Then I'm 100% definitely pregnant. Bring me a BLT with pickles.

ok, just let me check with you ob gyn first.

Merlin.

pickles are high in sodium!

So!?

arthur, don't you even care about the baby?

( Merlin please. )

Not as much as I care about my bloody pickles, no.

have you ever made pickles before? we should try it.

... Not the worst idea you've ever had. How?

we'll need cucumbers. i know where there's a garden.

Or a shop.

you don't want store cucumbers. they wax them.

I don't even know what that means.

they wax them. to make them shiny. or maybe it's lube, i don't know, gardens are just better.

Why can't we just have shiny pickles?

and i suddenly remember that you're a pervert.

How was that perverted! I just don't care what kind of cucumbers we use, idiot.

good, because i know this garden.

And you're sure it wouldn't be easier to go to Waitrose.

anything with the word 'wait' in it promises to be difficult.

scornfully - 2014-05-31 02:51 (UTC) - Expand