inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[busy]

arthur, i know you haven't had much experience with them, which worked out really well for me. but there's nothing wrong with vaginas. they're amazing.

[scornfully]

No, the Large Hadron Collider is amazing. A woman's parts are mundane at best.

[busy]

can your large hadron collider dilate and push new life into the world?

[scornfully]

It recreates miniature Big Bangs, Merlin, which was the start of existence as we know it. I think we'll skip the 'dilate' part and go with yes.

[busy]

ok, you're coming to work with me tomorrow.

[scornfully]

I'm doing no such thing. How you choose to spend your days is your business, but if I never have to see afterbirth fall out of a woman I'll be just fine.

[busy]

i just don't understand how someone could not appreciate vaginas on some level. they're like flowers.

[scornfully]

How. How are they like flowers. Have you been reading shit erotica again?

[busy]

think of the labia majora and labia minora as petals, if you will.

[scornfully]

No.

I LAUGH EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOUR TAG.

[busy]

then i guess you definitely don't want to hear about the clitoris being a stamen.

WORST MENTAL IMAGE OF ARTHUR'S WHOLE LIFE.

[scornfully]

And there goes the sex drive. Enjoy tonight's wank and pad thai for one.