inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

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Comments

[scornfully]

It's not a collection of ancient erotica, you great pillock.

[busy]

is there any collections of ancient erotica? i think i've got the legs for a toga.

[scornfully]

There'll be collections all over the world - both privately and publicly owned. And if you get a toga, I'm getting a gold laurel wreath.

[busy]

gold really suits you. and i'll get one of those helmets with wings.

1/2

[scornfully]

Helmets aren't attractive, Merlin. Get a purple sash. You can be an emperor.

[busy]

i do look good in purple. someone once told me that it's my 'sex colour'.

[scornfully]

As in, you turn purple during sex?

[scornfully]

And I'll be a god, obviously.

[busy]

the one with the thunderbolt?

[scornfully]

Jupiter? No. Mars, perhaps.

[busy]

the one with the hammer? and tell me i don't really turn purple during sex.

[scornfully]

The one with the spear. And fine, you don't really turn purple during sex.

[busy]

i thought ariel's father was the one with the spear. neptune.

[scornfully]

Stop. You're making me sort out books to force on you.

[busy]

will you hold me down and read them to me?

[scornfully]

Does sitting on you count? I'll need my hands free to turn the pages.

[busy]

...wow i'm definitely picturing that.

[scornfully]

Fully clothed, Merlin.

[busy]

which god was the crusher of dreams, you should definitely dress up as him.

[scornfully]

Topless if you're well behaved.

[busy]

like i'm ever 'well behaved'.

[scornfully]

Precisely. It's why I'm not worried.