inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[busy]

serious question, what's your honest opinion of my cock?

[scornfully]

Ha bloody ha, Gwaine. Give Merlin his phone back.

[busy]

it's me and i'm serious. i've been watching cartoons and porn all day and noticed two things. so what do you think about my cock?

1/2

[scornfully]

In which case I hope that the things you noticed were how tragic your day has been. Twice over.

2/2

[scornfully]

And what kind of a question is that, anyway? Your cock is your cock. It's fine.

[busy]

i think it has too much of a curve. like it's trying to run away or something.

[scornfully]

Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. It's a good length, thick enough to fill up my mouth, and the curve makes it look appetising when it's hard and caught in your shorts.

[busy]

but would you watch a movie starring my cock?

[scornfully]

Are you planning on going into porn?

[busy]

of course not, my mother would kill me. but if i did, would you watch my films?

[scornfully]

Why in God's name would you tell her! And no, of course I wouldn't.

[busy]

so there is something wrong with my cock!

1/2

[scornfully]

My objection isn't to your cock, you realise. It's to your cock being in or around other men.

2/2

[scornfully]

Or women.

[busy]

but if it was solo, you'd watch it?

[scornfully]

No! Well. Maybe? I don't bloody know! Why couldn't you just wank in front of me in person?

[busy]

where would your eyes be?

[scornfully]

... On your cock.

[busy]

That's all I needed to know.

[scornfully]

Good. Now tell me why.

[busy]

If it's good enough for a perfect guy like you, then it's good enough.

[scornfully]

I'm not perfect, Merlin. And how on Earth did you go from watching cartoons and porn to worrying about your cock?

[busy]

you're perfect to me. and my singing voice is rubbish and bluebirds would never flock around me. that's the other thing i learned.

[scornfully]

You're a besotted fool. And forget the bluebirds, they're pests anyway. I'll hang around you, though.

1/2

[busy]

will you bring a pizza? and i'll find out that i've lost my wallet and offer to pay you with my body instead.