inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[scornfully]

You do realise that losing your virginity doesn't immediately make you a great shag, I hope. Even if I fuck you, the next time you sleep with someone you're basically going to be just as inexperienced. Why not wait and learn all that stuff with someone you'll be shagging regularly for practice?

[busy]

so...why can't we shag regularly? for practice.

[scornfully]

Well. We could, I just assumed you were after a one-time thing.

[busy]

i don't share my chinese food with just anyone.

[scornfully]

Bring kung pao chicken.

[busy]

wear black undies.

[scornfully]

Thong, briefs or shorts?

[busy]

you have a thong? really?

[scornfully]

Is there a correct answer to that question?

[busy]

aren't they uncomfortable? they don't go up your ass? unless they actually do and you like it, which wouldn't work out so bad for me, actually.

[scornfully]

And now I want extra spring rolls.

[busy]

i choose it.

[scornfully]

Fine, but if you ask me a single question about it I'm calling it off.

[busy]

virgins are supposed to ask a lot of questions. it makes us endearing.

[scornfully]

Not about my bloody underwear you're not.

[busy]

i would ask what you'd like to see me in, but i've just got boxers.

[scornfully]

Merlin. It's fine. Besides, it's not like they'll be staying on for very long.

[busy]

don't be in such a hurry. you should savor the moment.

[Of seeing Merlin in his Scooby boxers.]

[scornfully]

Right - so you're going to tell me how I should be having sex. Okay then.

[busy]

i thought sex was more of a 'we' thing than a 'me' thing. because if it's not, i've been having sex for awhile now.

[scornfully]

You really don't need to talk me through your masturbatory habits.

[busy]

shouldn't you find that hot?

[scornfully]

I might, if it was happening in any way other than this.

[busy]

so tell me how i can make it that way.

[scornfully]

[ Seriously Merlin. ]

Well. You could tell me how you like to do it, and how it feels. Maybe what you think about while you do it too.