inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

[scornfully]

I don't actually make that much noise.

[busy]

stop ruining the surprise!

[scornfully]

I mean - I scream like a porn star.

[busy]

that's not real. they're just actors. that's like saying i murder like jason.

1/2

[scornfully]

No ... no-one was talking about murder, Merlin.

[scornfully]

Although if it's just acting maybe I should start doing porn - God knows it'd piss my father off.

[busy]

if i'm too young for a tattoo, you're too young for porn. and i'm pretty sure i'm all the pissing your dad off that you'll ever need.

[scornfully]

See, this is why you're the one for me.

[busy]

that and my massive

[busy]

sense of humor.

[scornfully]

It's definitely just your cock.

[busy]

ok but you're going to be disappointed.

[scornfully]

Hardly. I know you've never used it before, but teaching you will be fun.

[busy]

is there going to be a quiz? is it a pop one? because i think it could pass one of those, it pops up all the time.

[scornfully]

Well now there is.

[busy]

i'll make sure to share the results with your dad. i bet he'll be so proud.

[scornfully]

I'll put in a request for smoked sausage that night, just to see whether he'll be able to finish it.

[busy]

i'll take it if he doesn't want it. 'i can always stuff another sausage in somewhere', i'll say.

[scornfully]

And then I'll ask "would you like a little more cream in your mash?"

[busy]

and i'll say, 'yes please. and could you pass the rolls?' because i'm sure i'll still be starved after the flight. they don't even give out peanuts anymore.

[scornfully]

Is that a cleverly hidden fat joke?

[busy]

no, i just really like bread.

[scornfully]

I'll bring you back some brioche, then. Our cook bakes it - it's divine.

[busy]

what the hell is a brioche and how do you even say that.

[scornfully]

Bree-osh - it's French, idiot. Sweet and soft and delicious ... it's actually more like a pastry, but. It still counts.