inbox.

[scornfully]

❝Hi, this is Arthur Pendragon's phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Ta.❞

voice | text | call | email

Comments

can't stop won't stop

[busy]

i'm watching a 'sex sent me to the er' marathon and taking notes.

Don't ever stop tbh.

[scornfully]

How is it you can make notes on other people's sex injuries but can't cope with the idea of me naked?

[busy]

not entirely true, i've coped with the idea of it before.

[scornfully]

Pervert. So what've you learned from your marathon, then?

[busy]

that we shouldn't try to lick melted gummy candy off of each other, and a two hour orgasm wouldn't be as great as it sounds.

[scornfully]

Two hours? No. I'd pass out before then.

[busy]

it was a woman on the show. sounded hideous though. maybe we should try to not have orgasms.

[scornfully]

But I like orgasms. And no-one's ever told me I sound hideous before.

[busy]

don't worry, i'll tell you if you do.

[scornfully]

I don't actually make that much noise.

[busy]

stop ruining the surprise!

[scornfully]

I mean - I scream like a porn star.

[busy]

that's not real. they're just actors. that's like saying i murder like jason.

1/2

[scornfully]

No ... no-one was talking about murder, Merlin.

[scornfully]

Although if it's just acting maybe I should start doing porn - God knows it'd piss my father off.

[busy]

if i'm too young for a tattoo, you're too young for porn. and i'm pretty sure i'm all the pissing your dad off that you'll ever need.

[scornfully]

See, this is why you're the one for me.

[busy]

that and my massive

[busy]

sense of humor.

[scornfully]

It's definitely just your cock.

[busy]

ok but you're going to be disappointed.

[scornfully]

Hardly. I know you've never used it before, but teaching you will be fun.

[busy]

is there going to be a quiz? is it a pop one? because i think it could pass one of those, it pops up all the time.

[scornfully]

Well now there is.

[busy]

i'll make sure to share the results with your dad. i bet he'll be so proud.